This begins my journey…
Sitting at my desk…now married with 3 very young children, working for a company that custom built fire trucks, I was trying to type a report “perfectly” as the inspector waited patiently in the hallway for the completion of it. It was a 5 or 6 part report on the newly built fire truck that literally “had – to – be - perfect” (it could not even have “corrected” mistakes). My hands shook and I was filled with anxiety. My whole inner body, including my mind, was tense…I was so tense I could feel pressure in my head. It is truly hard to explain.
I also had a very difficult time remembering. On many occasions, my boss would call me into his office for further instruction. I would clutch my notebook and pen and write frantically, otherwise, I would get back to my desk and think… “now what did he just ask me to do?”
At home, I couldn’t fall into a deep sleep… my mind raced constantly. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not get any rest. I was also very phobic in public. For example, when I was shopping and if I was comparing prices (which was very hard to do because of my state of mind), I would panic and think, are people looking at me? Have I been standing here too long?
I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me.
WAS I GOING CRAZY?
I was so scared . . .